So this week left me alone with only 3 children. It was odd. A little empty. I have full faith that the oldest two were indeed driving Mawmaw and their cousins crazy. I tried to do things this week with the three that was somewhat normal, but things they don't do often. We went to the covered bridge, the Catawba County Historical Museum, and bowling. We went to Udderly Delicious. We got pizza one night. The best part of the week was watching the three learn to play together. They usually do not pair up in this order, usually there is an older one to break up the mix, leaving me with one. This week they have been inseparable. I have been pretty impressed.
Today, the two oldest came home. They looked incredible. They have spent a week in the sun, in the ocean breeze, in the shadow of beauty and it shows. Neither was tired. They had so many stories to share. So many jokes. They have been like twins since Michael was allowed to leave the hospital. They have each been leaders, care-takers, friends. They are really not whole without each other. It is something i don't quite understand and in that there is beauty.
I was given some really bad news today to finish out my week. I was told that a friend had passed. When I was growing up. let's say..8 , a little younger a little older...Walt led a group here in the county called the Teenage Young Republicans. These were high school kids who worked for politicians as helpers, aides, recruits..kids that wanted to be involved in government. They worked hard. There were lots of meetings and lots of campaigning. My friend was a member. He was at our house often, and I spent many car rides with him as we traveled to conventions and meetings. We used to come home, teenagers in tow, and I would be so eager to watch the Muppet's. We would have pizza or something and the older kids acted like they were doing me a favor by watching the Muppet's, but really, they were singing along. They treated me so kindly, knowing how I looked up to them.
My friend grew up to have a beautiful daughter of his own, perform in a church band, and have real relationships with real people. He was funny, clever, and had obtained some real common sense over the years. He was more than level-headed. He was thoughtful and unique, and he adored his daughter...adored her.
Tonight I have so much to be thankful for. Tonight I should remember those that I love. Remember that I get such a short chance to be real and honest. At the end of the day I need to treat people as if they are taking their last breath and say what I need to say. How precious to be there as someone lays dying and know that there is nothing left to say between you two. I feel confident that he left no doubt in his daughter's mind that she was his love, his joy. I have no doubt. Tonight I am thankful that I have good people in my life that I really will miss. That I really do miss. So when I tell you I love you, please know I love you and I never want you to doubt that I thought you were so worthy, so awesome, and so very beautiful.
The quote "Well, hmm" was something Walt used to say. I would be surprised if he hadn't said it to the doctor that diagnosed his cancer. It was an expression used for overwhelming confusion or sadness. It was what he would say after he had thought about things and still had no answer. I have no answers. I just know that Walt would have have said.."We shouldn't be standing here crying today over our loss. We should be rejoicing. G-d is flinging that gate open and welcoming him home with a choir. And you people are crying over that?" Walt ...I hope you and Jim get to talk now, after all these years.
Peace my friends. ~s.
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