There has been so much press and chit chat recently about the Dove ad campaign that features women describing what they look like. I want to share my thoughts on what this ad has done for me.
What the Dove campaign has taught me is that we (women) don't take into account what we have going on inside of us when we are trying to factor our pretty quotient. Where we see all of our wrinkles and imperfections, other people (even other women) see our light, our energy, our strength. What we feel really shows through our eyes and our smile. When we feel happy it radiates through us and makes us much more attractive. In other words, it makes us accessible and likeable.
So how has Dove changed my mind about women? I am giving myself a challenge. I want to no longer tell you that you are pretty. Getting told that you are pretty makes all women feel good, okay; but pretty is so subjective. I want to tell you that you are smart. I want to tell you that you scare me with your rock star attributes. I want to tell you that you are fashionable. I want to tell you that you are courageous. I want to tell you that you are thoughtful and genuine. I want us to have a relationship that tests how well I know you so that if we meet in public I can say something more than, "Oh you look so pretty today." I realize how vapid that sounds. I know how pretty my girlfriends are, and I am not going to lie I may send you an e-mail just to tell you how beautiful you are, but in real life I want us to recognize that we are more than just clothes hangers and make-up ads. I love you. I want to tell you why I love you, and it's not just because you land high on someone else's pretty scale.
Also, let me add this. The woman that you want to be -you are already her. You are just hiding her behind pain, sorrow, depression, and exhaustion. She is there. She requires work. She requires encouragement. She requires sweat. She requires love. If you want to be a better you, if you want to be a brighter shade of you, then be it. It will take time, but you deserve to be whatever you want to be. It makes no difference if you feel 22 or 42, what matters is that you FEEL and that you are opening up to the world and letting them see you. What matters is that you express yourself. When the world sees the inside of you, they will stop calling you "pretty" and they will start calling you "that girl I want to be."
Thursday, April 25, 2013
Monday, April 8, 2013
2 Ladies Died Today
Margaret Thatcher changed the face of politics for many females of my generation. England had many Queens before Thatcher, but Queens sit, they don't exactly "act". As Prime Minister though Thatcher was allowed to act and react. Perhaps it was because of how technology had advanced, the advent of Television, that brought Thatcher into our homes; but it was her politics that should have had us stammered. Thatcher chose to surround herself with men. She made the decision to be tough. She made the decision to stand for the Right regardless of moral or rational consequences.
Today while every young lady in America is quick searching quotes from Thatcher trying to honor her, I present you with the truth: She was a politician. Period.
For those who tell me not to love my President just because he is a black guy, I beg you to not adore Baroness Thatcher just because she was a woman.
http://irishecho.com/?p=69392
http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/1999/oct/06/pinochet.chile
Meanwhile another woman passed away today. A woman who was just as tough. Annette Funicello passed away after her struggle with MS. Funicello spoke openly about being a single mother. She spoke openly about how success had changed her family dynamics. She set up a charity so studies could be done on neurological diseases like MS.
I found Annette Funicello when I was very young. She was in a bikini on a beach surrounded by teenage boys and girls, free from parental authority, talking about love and sex, and relationships. I found her on my cousin's TV set. Annette made it clear that her sexuality was hers alone and not to be undone by just any boy. She drove Frankie crazy. She introduced me to a girl named Candy who could dance like no one I had ever seen before. I wore Candy's dress to my prom. I held onto it and wore it to a Christmas party a few years before my house fire. It was a symbol of my youth, my emergence as a single mom, my sexuality.
Annette made it okay to know who you were as a woman. She made it okay to be free. She made it okay to ask questions. She made it okay to feel and forgive.
Two ladies died today, both of them changed the world. One made me sad because she wasn't the feminine, empathetic leader that I had hoped for. One made me happy because she didn't just embrace her own life, she took it seriously. Both impacted my life through music. Yes, Thatcher had songs written about her. Two ladies died today, as did a little of my youth. May they both find peace.
Today while every young lady in America is quick searching quotes from Thatcher trying to honor her, I present you with the truth: She was a politician. Period.
For those who tell me not to love my President just because he is a black guy, I beg you to not adore Baroness Thatcher just because she was a woman.
http://irishecho.com/?p=69392
http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/1999/oct/06/pinochet.chile
Meanwhile another woman passed away today. A woman who was just as tough. Annette Funicello passed away after her struggle with MS. Funicello spoke openly about being a single mother. She spoke openly about how success had changed her family dynamics. She set up a charity so studies could be done on neurological diseases like MS.
I found Annette Funicello when I was very young. She was in a bikini on a beach surrounded by teenage boys and girls, free from parental authority, talking about love and sex, and relationships. I found her on my cousin's TV set. Annette made it clear that her sexuality was hers alone and not to be undone by just any boy. She drove Frankie crazy. She introduced me to a girl named Candy who could dance like no one I had ever seen before. I wore Candy's dress to my prom. I held onto it and wore it to a Christmas party a few years before my house fire. It was a symbol of my youth, my emergence as a single mom, my sexuality.
Annette made it okay to know who you were as a woman. She made it okay to be free. She made it okay to ask questions. She made it okay to feel and forgive.
Two ladies died today, both of them changed the world. One made me sad because she wasn't the feminine, empathetic leader that I had hoped for. One made me happy because she didn't just embrace her own life, she took it seriously. Both impacted my life through music. Yes, Thatcher had songs written about her. Two ladies died today, as did a little of my youth. May they both find peace.
Monday, April 1, 2013
The Vapid Christain Right
There comes a time when you have to wonder if Jesus would be happy seeing his picture up on billboards. Is that the kind of person that you signed on to worship when you first heard the Good news? Did you want that rock star G-d head? Cause Pan is all up for that. Go meet him. The audacity of the Christian right to take over the internets yesterday and scream about Google honoring Cesar Chavez has made me want to Hulk out more than a couple of times.
Chavez, a man who lived a Christ-like life without all the religious dogma, worked for the poor, the needy, the hungry and the abused. How about the right wing Christian fan base of Christ...because that is all you people are: a fan base; do a little leg work. How about when someone does something Christ-like you acknowledge it. I don't think Jesus would be jealous.
Your incessant need to splatter Jesus' face on every tree, sign, and lake dinghy is becoming about as tacky as your televangelists. Real people who have real relationships don't go around yapping about them, they live them. You remind me of rappers who have to get their gold teeth in to prove that they are no longer living in the hood. You constantly have to remind people that you know G-d. You have to remind us because we actually see you lie, cheat, and gossip...let. that. sink. in.
Google has never been religious. You wanna go there? The Christmas tree... a pagan symbol. The Easter eggs... pagan. You co-opt days out of a scientific calendar and then get pissed because some of us who understand what a solstice is actually acknowledge the solstice. Seriously. Some of you need a history book.
WHEN...WHEN are you going to get angry at the real cause of your frustration? It's not the over educated atheists that are standing in your way. It's not the Muslims that demand equality (in America of all places) that are bothering you. Nope, your real enemy is your own church. The Church that decided when Jesus' birthday should be put you squarely at odds with the scientific and the pagan communities both. The Church that thought you were too vapid to understand that Easter is a floating holiday, well, maybe they were right. I have 10 year olds asking why Easter is never on the same day each year, but 40 year old women who just never noticed. It is shocking to me that you are part of a religion that you "love" yet know absolutely nothing about its inception. You don't know anything about King James. Hell, some of you think he wrote the book! Have you ever watched a documentary about him?? nope. You know nothing about Constantine. You know nothing about the money that passed between religious and political parties so that your religion may be the biggest, loudest, and strongest. And for a people who try to get each and every child they see into the church building you sure don't stand up to the Catholic Church about their rampant pedophilia.
What would Jesus do? Jesus would tell you to get him off your internet memes and get out of your churches, sell what the church has and feed people....no, that would mean nobody could read your self righteous Twitter updates anymore. Screw that.
What would Jesus do? He would be walking the streets meeting people, not sitting at home on the interwebs. He would be honest. He would be holy. He would be kind...and he would not be in church.
Chavez, a man who lived a Christ-like life without all the religious dogma, worked for the poor, the needy, the hungry and the abused. How about the right wing Christian fan base of Christ...because that is all you people are: a fan base; do a little leg work. How about when someone does something Christ-like you acknowledge it. I don't think Jesus would be jealous.
Your incessant need to splatter Jesus' face on every tree, sign, and lake dinghy is becoming about as tacky as your televangelists. Real people who have real relationships don't go around yapping about them, they live them. You remind me of rappers who have to get their gold teeth in to prove that they are no longer living in the hood. You constantly have to remind people that you know G-d. You have to remind us because we actually see you lie, cheat, and gossip...let. that. sink. in.
Google has never been religious. You wanna go there? The Christmas tree... a pagan symbol. The Easter eggs... pagan. You co-opt days out of a scientific calendar and then get pissed because some of us who understand what a solstice is actually acknowledge the solstice. Seriously. Some of you need a history book.
WHEN...WHEN are you going to get angry at the real cause of your frustration? It's not the over educated atheists that are standing in your way. It's not the Muslims that demand equality (in America of all places) that are bothering you. Nope, your real enemy is your own church. The Church that decided when Jesus' birthday should be put you squarely at odds with the scientific and the pagan communities both. The Church that thought you were too vapid to understand that Easter is a floating holiday, well, maybe they were right. I have 10 year olds asking why Easter is never on the same day each year, but 40 year old women who just never noticed. It is shocking to me that you are part of a religion that you "love" yet know absolutely nothing about its inception. You don't know anything about King James. Hell, some of you think he wrote the book! Have you ever watched a documentary about him?? nope. You know nothing about Constantine. You know nothing about the money that passed between religious and political parties so that your religion may be the biggest, loudest, and strongest. And for a people who try to get each and every child they see into the church building you sure don't stand up to the Catholic Church about their rampant pedophilia.
What would Jesus do? Jesus would tell you to get him off your internet memes and get out of your churches, sell what the church has and feed people....no, that would mean nobody could read your self righteous Twitter updates anymore. Screw that.
What would Jesus do? He would be walking the streets meeting people, not sitting at home on the interwebs. He would be honest. He would be holy. He would be kind...and he would not be in church.
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