I Just want to Buy One More Thing...

        To my children,
"Neither a borrower nor a lender be;
For loan oft loses both itself and friend,
And borrowing dulls the edge of husbandry.
This above all: to thine own self be true."  ~LORD POLONIUS (Hamlet)

     Americans are somehow guaranteed credit cards as soon as they hit college. We have taught two generations that living in debt is not just easy and affordable but completely acceptable. The credit card companies have convinced us that if we qualify for a large loan that somehow equates us with the rich and deserving. It is as if we have gotten a gift. How many times have we  opened up a credit card statement and gotten giddy because they raised our limit. It's not a compliment. It's a way of saying, "We know we have you. Actually, we own you." I want you to understand the world as I see it. I want you to know why I live like I do.
   I bought my home when I was making $15,000 a year. I had a car that was bought second hand and paid for. When Albert and I got married, we waited about 3 weeks then cut up all of our credit cards. We already had enough debt and knew that our credit ratings were bad. What we didn't need was to add to that everyday pressure. What we needed was to get rid of our debt and not add anymore to it. Having a mortgage is debt enough.  
   I was working at the front desk of the hotel one day when two ladies decided to check in. They wanted to know everything about the Furniture Mart. The first lady whipped out her credit card and said, "I want a good room. I just got this in the mail and I have a $5,000 limit. We are going to go refurnish our house." Yes, she was bragging. In my world, $5,000 is close to what most of my neighbors pay for a year's mortgage payment. This woman was willing to spend a year's mortgage payment  on her new furniture, a night at a hotel and a few meals at Applebee's. And she was Proud of herself. She will, if she doesn't default, have this card in her pocketbook, making minimal payments for close to 15 years. She will be charging small things like socks and  underwear on it because her money is being sucked up in credit card debt and she cannot afford to go to Kmart and buy socks with a ten dollar bill. It's a cycle. She will miss a mortgage payment to pay the credit card bills so that she can buy groceries on the card and eat for this month. Then she'll have enough left over on the card  to go to the movies. The pattern will repeat indefinitely till she loses the house or defaults on the card. Then comes a lawsuit. Is this how you want to live?

How much does each American owe in credit card debt?  
"....Even with those changes, however, the average household reports credit card debts of $4,700, while lenders report an average balance per household of $7,134." ~NYT Jan 20, 2012

   So not only are Americans not paying their debts, they are underestimating how much they owe. But these same households who want to live the good life off their credit cards are killing themselves financially by paying interest on those cards. A $2,000 computer may end up costing you $4,000 if you constantly pay a minimum payment or you have to pay late fees. Think about what you want..one computer or one that costs the price of two? A gallon of milk may wind up costing $7.00. Make a choice now and make a promise to yourself.
       Going into debt for a home or a college loan is perfectly acceptable as long as you are determined to pay those loans off. This year Albert and I decided not to accept our federal tax return. Instead, we rolled it over to pay my student loan. I now have a great portion of my loan paid off. Did we need the money? You will always find that you need money, but what few people have learned is the difference between needing and wanting. We need to get this debt paid off more than we need to go on vacation.
  I know a woman who gets angry with her husband and goes to the store with credit card in hand and spends a few hundred dollars. She is punishing him while making herself feel better.  If he can't give her the things that she wants then she feels as if she is entitled to go get them herself. What she is doing is trying to fill  a void that love or money or food cannot fill. She is desperately grasping for something to make herself feel good. That, my children, has to come from within. If you feel that void, try rearranging your life, rather than  buying a new one.
  It is one thing to have financial difficulty that arises from lack of work or medical bills. There are many reasons why people suffer financially, but is credit card debt something else you want to add to your daily struggles?
  If you love yourself then work for yourself and let your money work for you. If you have debt, at least have a good insurance policy. Your children don't want your debt. And you probably don't want your children asking you what in the world you spent so much money on if you have nothing to show for it. Truth is, you didn't spend it on "living". Do you really want your kids spending their own money on you after you're dead?

    This year I promise to get things in order. I don't care what it costs me emotionally or socially, I will make sure my affairs are in order so that you don' t have to worry about "my" financial situation once I am gone. Just promise me that you will take care of yours when the time comes.

New Year...Old You? Never!!

     So, here we are. The new year has started and we have all made unbelievable resolutions...and we are all miserable. Christmas is hard. The number of people who spend Christmas and New Years in a state of depression is astronomical. Too too many. We are going to snap out of it Today and be great, vibrant, well adjusted members of society...or at least fake it and make people jealous. Ready? GO!

 1. This month we will spend 20.00 on a Christmas present for 2012. Find something unique and interesting at an antique shop and buy it for the mother, mother-in-law, bus driver...somebody.

2. We will take the credit card in our wallet with the smallest balance ( I am hoping that would be between 50.00 and 100.00 dollars, if not call me) and we are cutting it up and paying it off. You can do this by simply NOT going to the steakhouse once this month and by skipping 3 meals as a family at the fast food joint. Do Not Re-Apply for credit card.

3. We are Not going to join a gym. We will go to the dollar store and  purchase one pedometer. We will wear it on Friday. Saturday and Sunday. If we do not walk 2500 steps each day, call me. Okay, also on Friday, Saturday and Sunday, we will carry a notebook in which we will write down everything (no cheating) we eat. We are NOT counting calories, we are simply getting honest about what food goes in our mouths and how much we are moving each day.

4. We will sit at the dining room table 2 nights a week as a family.

5. We will take the animals before the end of the month and get them rabies shots. (something like $7.00 at local animal shelter)

 6. We will replace the batteries in the smoke alarms and get a carbon monoxide detector. ($25.00 at Lowe's )


   When I was a teenager, I had a studio apartment and lived alone. I had these pictures of supermodels on the bathroom door. I looked at  their make-up, their clothes, their hair. I idolized those girls. I wanted to be THAT pretty. I wanted to be able to walk in a restaurant and get free food and have fabulous friends and just be all around glamorous.  It was easy to let their shiny faces get me depressed and keep me in sweats and tee shirts. It still is. What I have learned is that if I get up with a good attitude, brush my hair, and put on some half decent clothes, people do stop and respond. It is about attitude. Maybe we will never be supermodel thin or gorgeous...but a few good sales, a few good haircuts, and a love of self with a selfless heart can make us supermodel cool this year. Take care of you because we always say..." Well, when the kids move out I want to..." Take care of yourself now. All my love.