week 6 .......well, hmmm

   So this week left me alone with only 3 children. It was odd. A little empty. I have full faith that the oldest two were indeed driving Mawmaw and their cousins crazy. I tried to do things this week with the three that was somewhat normal, but things they don't do often. We went to the covered bridge, the Catawba County Historical Museum, and bowling. We went to Udderly Delicious. We got pizza one night. The best part of the week was watching the three learn to play together. They usually do not pair up in this order, usually there is an older one to break up the mix, leaving me with one. This week they have been inseparable. I have been pretty impressed.
    Today, the two oldest came home. They looked incredible. They have spent a week in the sun, in the ocean breeze, in the shadow of beauty and it shows. Neither was tired. They had so many stories to share. So many jokes. They have been like twins since Michael was allowed to leave the hospital. They have each been leaders, care-takers, friends. They are really not whole without each other. It is something i don't quite understand and in that there is beauty.
   
I was given some really bad news today to finish out my week. I was told that a friend had passed. When I was growing up. let's say..8 , a little younger a little older...Walt led a group here in the county called the Teenage Young Republicans.  These were high school kids who worked for politicians as helpers, aides, recruits..kids that wanted to be involved in government. They worked hard. There were lots of meetings and lots of campaigning. My friend was a member. He was at our house often, and I spent many car rides with him as we traveled to conventions and meetings. We used to come home, teenagers in tow, and I would be so eager to watch the Muppet's.  We would have pizza or something and the older kids acted like they were doing me a favor by watching the Muppet's, but really, they were singing along. They treated me so kindly, knowing how  I looked up to them.
  My friend grew up to have a beautiful daughter of his own, perform in a church band, and have real relationships with real people. He was funny, clever, and had obtained some real common sense over the years. He was more than level-headed. He was thoughtful and unique, and he adored his daughter...adored her.
   Tonight I have so much to be thankful for. Tonight I  should remember those that I love. Remember that I  get such a short chance to be real and honest. At the end of the day I need to treat people as if they are taking their last breath and say what I  need to say. How precious to be there as someone lays dying and know that there is nothing left to say between you two. I feel confident that he left no doubt in his daughter's mind that she was his love, his joy. I have no doubt. Tonight I am thankful that I have good people in my life that I really will miss. That I really do miss. So when I tell you I love you, please know I love you and I never want you to doubt that I thought you were so worthy, so awesome, and so very beautiful.
    The quote "Well, hmm" was something Walt used to say. I would be surprised if he hadn't said it to the doctor that diagnosed his cancer. It was an expression used for overwhelming confusion or sadness. It was what he would say after he had thought about things and still had no answer. I have no answers. I just know that Walt would have have said.."We shouldn't be standing here crying today over our loss. We should be rejoicing. G-d is flinging that gate open and welcoming him home with a choir. And you people are crying over that?" Walt ...I hope you and Jim get to talk now, after all these years.
Peace my friends. ~s.

Week 5: taking chances

So, this week started off pretty well. Uncle Walter came and finished up  work in the basement. It is really nice down there, just needs some TLC from me to finish it up, but you know how it is once you see the end is near you kinda start to relax...I am trying not to get too comfortable and just finish it already. The boys decided that Lil needs a dressing room, so they built her one! It is completely awesome the love that went into this project.
   On Monday we  sat down and started a series called Globe Trekker. It stars Ian Wright whom I might possibly love. He is the opposite of boring. The whole series  is fast paced and chocked full of gorgeous scenery. We started with Chile and Easter Island. How amazing to see the color, the history, the people, the legends. We spent an hour having a good laugh and seeing really neat places.
   The boys brought to my attention a yellow jacket nest in our front yard. Usually these bees are aggressive, so I was hesitant to see what was going on. I realized my yard was not going to EVER be mowed again if I didn't do something about these small monsters. Jonas is slightly allergic to their stings and I was more worried about the bees following him into the house than anything. The bigger boys and I set out with some chemicals, a can of  Raid, a water hose, and a shovel. This was an all day event, not a fly by. In the end, we were fairly successful, but the bees were relentless. They do not leave until they know that the Queen is dead. I could not produce a dead Queen, all I could produce was a torn up hive. And yes, the hive although buried looks just like any other honeycombed sort of hive. I am now pretty sure I will charge you people 40 dollars  to come clean out your nests.
    On Wednesday Lil got to travel with her family to visit an aunt in Columbia, SC. The kids also got to go to Uncle Grady's farm and pick cantaloupes.I am always thankful to see my kids get to hang out with family. On Thursday I was lucky to see my cousin Donna. She was visiting from Arizona where she works for a mining company. Sh is about 10 years older than me and moved before I really grew up and could have anything in common with her, but she is really cool. Sh likes all the same things I like, except without the kids. She left Newton a long time ago and "found herself" as some would say. We even have the same taste in clothes! Wonder what Arizona could do for me?
   I put the boys in the car one night when I just couldn't stand the smell of paint and joint compound any longer and we went to see Fast Five. Yes, thank you is all that really needs to be said here.
    We rented the movie Of Gods and Men. Spoiler:It's in French with subtitles! This is a movie for people who care. For people who care about religion and people who care about people and people who care about faith and loyalty. It was such a beautiful quiet movie yet powerful, the juxtaposition of words with power and men without was so well done. One son wanted to know about the Muslim extremists and upon trying to explain Michael interrupted with ," But don't all religions have groups like that." Michael was not, for the record, asking a question. He may be brilliant. Upon that was built a conversation about Christian extremists in Norway. (If you would like to see Anders eviscerated in non-fiction, feel free to google PZ Myers' blog. PZ lays  this guy out. Cold. ) It was good. It was good for the kids to learn patience to sit through a foreign film and good  for them to listen to the silence that ended the film.
   Today I dropped my oldest off with my Beeker. Who knew 15 meant "jet setter". I am glad for her to have such a wonderful influence in her life. After Lil was born her dad and I asked Beeker to be her godmother. Not so much fairy, just combat boots and helicopters kind of godmother. I am so thankful all my kids have Beeker. But Lil needs a strong beautiful  smart woman to go to, and we have that in Beek.
    Oh, I almost forgot. Lil took her first day job as a house/dog-sitter! Went well! Hope there will be more work for her. She deserves it.

where's my id at?

    I knew someone who would wake up each morning and start his day with a "get him, g-d" sort of prayer. He believed that G-d would destroy his enemies. He was ruthless in his belief that they were less than him, deserved to be ripped apart, and removed from his life. He prayed with a fierceness and a fervor sometimes leading to tears.  He was a Christian soldier, a fighter. It was always,"G-d get them out of my life." "G-d teach them a lesson." They were disposable. He also liked to use the term MY G-d. As in, My G-d wouldn't let that happen, or My G-d is bigger than that, or My G-d is handling this.
   Some of you know where I am going with this. If you do this or know people who do this, I need to ask you who is controlling the strings here because you have become someone else's puppet, not a clear headed, peace loving child of G-d. If you believe in Satan (and some Christians don't), then you need to ask yourself if he or it is building up your ego. You need to ask yourself why you consider yourself so precious that  people need to be dealt with.  I thought as Christians we were taught to deal with ourselves...look inward, look upward, and never lose the grace or the joy. But here we are asking G-d to smite someone. Not deal with OUR hearts, not help us make a path to peace or freedom, not even asking G-d to remove US from the situation, but saying, "I am fine Lord, it is them you need to move for me." Being a child of G-d doesn't mean that you tell G-d to move that mountain. It means that you ask with a peaceful and humble heart to find a way to cut through the mountain. It means you let your G-d teach you something. It means you listen to your enemies and learn why they are so hurt, angry, guilt-ridden...why do they put up obstacles in your way. I bet it has something to do with your attitude, not theirs.
   I also want to object to the term "MY G-d". He is definitely not yours. You don't act like him or for him. You don't own him, he is not in your back pocket and you cannot read his mind...I think we as humans do not know his mind or can conceive of his thoughts. It is a brave person who says "My G-d did or didn't do this." I think we best start checking our egos at the door and remember he is not ours, we are his and not just some of us, but even our enemies belong to him. And maybe , just maybe, that enemy  that we have been trying to convince G-d to deal with, is struggling with his own relationship with G-d and asking G-d for peace...which we  dear Christians are not offering.
   We need to ask ourselves each morning what we want, what we expect, and are we in it just for us. We need to take a good look at our egos and figure out who is building us up to be so hateful and bulletproof. It is not G-d. He doesn't create boxers who go out into the world each day and knock people down. He creates life. Precious life that we have no reason or excuse to judge. All are worthy, do not let our egos convince us that we are worthier...because there is no such thing in G-d's eyes. It is the least, and the least have no love for self.  We need  a different heart, one that is clear and open to change, one that holds no grudges and seeks no justice or revenge.

Week 4 : We got nothing accomplished

    So, while on vacation we received a phone call saying that our basement had flooded. A hose attached to the washing machine had burst and we were looking at 9 inches of water, at least. We returned home to find mold, mildew...just overall grossness. The smell was pretty bad too. Luckily Marsha has purchased a sump pump and the water was gone, but the floor was still wet and things looked bad. Considering the problems and stresses I dealt with after the fire the last thing I wanted was someone else in my house and I argued against calling an insurance adjuster. In the end, the call was made and the assessment was bad. We lost everything that touched the floor. All of my walls are now cut in half. All the furniture is gone. The tile floor was the reason that the smell was so bad. For future reference, if the glue on the bottom of floors gets wet, it smells like death. So the kids, who are used to work crews being in the house, and used to frantic trips to Lowe's, are fine. The problem is that I feel as if I have spent no Real time with them this week.
     I know that in real life an education comes from problems like these; but let's face it,  Mama Shey likes to teach and introduce things and ideas to the kids. This just didn't happen this week. We returned from our beach trip late Monday night. The rest of this week has been kind of a blur. Mold can do that to ya.
   The funniest thing that came out of this was the kids looking for something to do, while appeasing me. It took an odd turn. Samuel found this program called Billy the Exterminator. I was not on board with this show. I assumed we were looking at some redneck  who killed stuff and laughed while he huffed the chemicals...I was very wrong. Turns out it really is a show about a guy who dresses like a rock star, uses green  chemicals and doesn't kill anything unless forced to. He also practically preaches to the kids not to ever touch a wild animal and not to ever consider keeping one as a pet. They are learning the differences in wasps, snakes, bugs. They get to see alligators and albino raccoons. I was not expecting this show to enlighten me about ecology. I learned.
  I rented Walk the Line. The first time I saw this movie was in the theatre, and it was good. This time it was great. We had to pause the movie a few times because of questions. I loved it. I know that this isn't kid-friendly material, but it's real. The music is powerful and the kids were introduced to the crazy Jerry-Lee and a young Elvis. It was full of a  lot of laughs and  a lot of morals. It was also full of some very strong women.
    In all it was a difficult week. Today is Sunday and I have 2 different men in the basement than I had yesterday. The part is that everyone who is helping me out is either a friend or family member. I have only been sent to the kitchen once, but Uncle Walter is pretty sure there is a position out there for me involving employers who just need somebody to come in and yell at their employees for an hour or so and leave. I'm guessing it could turn into a full time job.....
   

week 3 ..the patriotic edition

    This week we jumped straight into cool with Bob Marley. The kids associated Marley with New York for some reason (thanks Jay-Z). I was able to explain a little bit about the islands and about the Rasta culture and how people and ideas have migrated to NYC. I doubt I did Marley justice. He changed people. We also looked at he Birth of Rock and Roll on Netflix. It provided us with some great music and showed the kids a little of where rock and roll came from, who introduced it to America, and the riots it started. It was not the best documentary, but the music was there, so I closed my eyes and just listened.
    In art we did our own mosaics. Some  kids understood better than others, but glue is always fun, right? We also viewed some of I.M. Pei's work. He was an architect, and his use of angles and lines was interesting.
    We rented F is for Fake. Michael is the only one that made it through the movie. It was definitely an art house kind of movie. I found it very amusing, but you have to know or like the fakers involved to  really enjoy it. The movie makes a HUGE point. How many of our beloved paintings were actually done by the artist that we attribute the work to? It was fabulous! Okay, for me, it was fabulous, not so much for anyone else.
    G-d Grew Tired of Us is a film about the lost boys of Sudan. We were hooked in the first 2 minutes. It was the greatest decision I have made all summer. It was true, telling, and intimate. The love you feel and the sympathy you feel for these kids coming to the United States of technology and product placement was overwhelming. Another movie about people coming to this country was Kung Fu Monks in America. It was good. It was worth the hour. The moves, the relationships between monk, spirit, warrior was wonderful. I think we all giggled  throughout the movie.
    We tied the monks in with the Dalai Lama.We watched a lovely movie that told of the Great 14th. It was enlightening. I really enjoyed it, and it got the kids to talk about war and country, and the beauty of a man who truly never loses his smile and his joy.
  Never Been Done was a wild card movie. It was about a young man who lost his leg and still became a great skateboarder. You don't really need to love the board  to watch this movie, it really speaks of courage and love and cool. You either have it or you don't.
    We were all surprised this week when Maw Maw decided to take us to see my sister. Maw Maw was gracious  enough to let all of us go to the beach and visit Beeker. It was such a wonderful weekend. We got to spend  the Fourth with wonderful people. We got to tour some historic sites and enjoy South Carolina. I really hope to see her again soon, but I am really thankful to have people around that appreciate family and include my kids in so much.