At the Corner of I-40 and "Please Wear a Condom"

   Right now in my daughter's 3rd period class there are 18 kids. All are under the age of 18. Three  of these kids have babies or are pregnant. This does not include any girl who had a miscarriage  or an abortion. Can you fathom the statistics I am speaking of? As a breeder, let me say this.
   Dear heterosexuals: How about we work out our own problems before we start pointing fingers. We have failed as parents, Christian or not. We have failed at raising children that respect their bodies. We have failed at protecting our children against, not just pregnancy, but STDs of all sorts and sexual abuse. We have raised men and women who have all sorts of sexual dysfunction, not because of biology, but because of the mental games we have played with their heads about when sex is wrong and when it's really really wrong.  I think that it is odd that we teach our children about brushing their teeth and gum disease, but bodily functions are taboo. Sex is about your soul. It is not just about pleasuring the body, it is a relationship with your soul. Sex and love should go hand in hand, but what if it doesn't?
   What if our daughters are at the mall and get pulled into a car? What if they are raped? What will we teach our daughters about their bodies? What will we teach our daughters about STDs? Will we make them feel dirty? Will we  find a way to tell them that their jeans were too tight or their  hair smelled too good? Will we  belittle them  for something they  have  no control over? Will we tell them not to  marry because they are  dirty? What if the government stepped in and called them dirty and told them  they  could never marry or have children? What if the government called them a minority? What if the government stripped them of their personality and pain and called them a statistic?
    What happens when we become the statistic? What happens when white middle class  Christian Americans are the minority..oh, wait. Welcome. Are you new here? Because if you do not stand up for the oppressed, no one will stand up for you. ( better write that down and put it in your pocket for later or else my high pitched cackling may confuse you)
     What we don't need is more rules and more governmental control over the policing of our bodies and how often we have sex. What we are in dire need of is some education that comes with a little empathy and a lot of heart. What we are in dire need of is a little reasoning that comes from the study of the human brain, i.e. genetics. What we are in need of is to explain to our children why we react lustfully to some people and not others and why true love isn't really based on lust, but respect.
   When the government backs a plan to promote drug free and disease free heterosexual marriage and allows an amendment to the constitution that states that no party shall be allowed to enter into the marriage contract without proving that they can live, without  being sustained  by governmental monies, for no less than 2 years without bringing an offspring into the world, then I shall, as a heterosexual breeder,  listen to the governments charge to the gays that they are not "good" enough to marry.  When the government backs a plan that states that no male or female having committed 3 felonies or no male or female having been convicted of child abuse, sexual or otherwise, may marry or be allowed to reproduce, then I may consider the NC governments stand on gay marriage. Until the NC legislature can provide a safe haven for women by stating that no one ever convicted of  domestic violence may marry then I really don't need to hear anything from said legislature. Crimes against nature are not solely limited to anal sex, in my opinion. Crimes against nature involve any type of sexual deviance that makes one partner feel as if they are being manipulated, enslaved or victimized.  If the government cannot control the population of breeders that it openly endorses, then I fear no sort of legislation will force the gays into submission. (insert smiley face).
  
    I don't need or want the government in my bedroom. (I actually don't want them on my property or in my car. I don't- especially- want them monitoring what music I listen to.)  And if I don't want them in mine, then I probably should learn to help you keep the government out of yours too. It's not just about loving your neighbor anymore. We are on the edge of a precipice where WE are the neighbors that nobody wants.
    
You have no idea what your child will grow up to be. What if your child grows up to be the minority? Show your children right now that they are worth more to you than a statistic. Fight for what they COULD be, not what you hope and pray and believe they will be. ~Mama Shey

Love Me, Love My Eating Disorder

   During the last week of Walt's life, I was visited by a very special person. Someone I love but never get to see.  I spent a lot of time sitting in the car with her. If you know me then you have probably sat in a car with me and talked. A car is better than any therapist office. So me and my lovely friend talked.....about food. Death makes you deal with things. Sometimes it makes you talk about weird things. Sometimes it makes you face things. During this week  food was not on my mind so maybe that is why it was so easy to talk with her. Anyway, I spoke with her again last night. After almost an hour of  "talk", we finally got into the food conversation again. I am so glad that I  have her. I am so glad that she understands. It may be a familial disorder that we deal with, but  that fact that I can tell her my deepest food secrets is a big deal. I think maybe it's time that I come clean.
    I am not a foodie. I would rather watch Man V. Food than Paula Deen. I don't want to watch you cook, I want to watch you eat. And don't try to sell me on expensive or fancy. I want quantity...or at least I did.
Growing up I was an only child and there was not a worry about going hungry, but I was very attached to food. It was my best friend in so many ways. As I got older and moved into my own places I began to hide food. I began to deny knowing the existence of said cheesecake that we just bought. I also would drive home from work plotting my every minute: Off work at 2.00 means Bojangles at 2.20, means home at 2.35, means eating alone until I have to pick up kids at 2.50. Oh, and Bojangles consisted of 2 adult meals. I despised getting caught, and I despised having to share.    At some point I realized that if you arrived at the Buffet at 10.00 a.m. then you could have a late breakfast, watch the workers change over to lunch, then get the really good food.
    I am not at all obsessed with food today. I changed at some point. Perhaps I became happy with my curvy body, perhaps I became happy sustaining myself. Perhaps I just found a comfort zone in something else. Maybe it was just being able to talk to someone else about how guilty I feel all the time about something as simple as food.  I don't know. What I do know is that food still makes me somewhat happy. Laughing at it and about it makes me incredibly happy.
   I am glad to have come from a family of big eaters and big talkers. And no, there isn't a plate in front of me right now,  because I  came from a family who would never make a plate of hot food wait just so we could finish a sentence.

~ Love who  you are and what made you, you. Love even the dysfunction and the disorder, because without those we would have no beauty, no individuality, and no secrets   to share in locked cars. ~Mama Shey.

I can probably fix your computer too.

So, Jonas is sick. Sick, like, I have a headache and need to throw up sick. I am overwhelmed. But not in a bad way. I am the only thing close to an adult in the house tonight and although that has its privileges (Paul Bettany movie marathon til 3.00a.m.) I have no one to blame when the house gets too hot, or the dogs bark, or the kids get sick. I like scapegoats. I do not have one right now. If anyone is available, please leave me your number.
     I also would like some tea, but I refuse to touch ice.  Ice freaks me out.

    So the boys left for Atlanta on Thursday morning and so far I have been managing.  everybody wants to know what is in Atlanta that some of us go to each year. It is Dragoncon. Sci-Fi crazy, let's dress up like stormtroopers and get everything we owned signed by  Tom Felton:  Dragoncon.
   The kids went to school on Thursday and I remembered to pick them up: Point for Mama Shey. I fed them...see I am on a roll! On Thursday night we were honored to be invited to the Newton Playhouse to see The Wizard of Oz. If you live in or around Newton and you don't go see this....why? 
    I made it through Friday, although I realized I really wasn't doing too much. I did visit with my aunt and uncle and then I went and bothered my Yoda for a few hours. We tried to play board games, but we talk waaaay too much to ever finish anything. We could never work together. She is super smart and I like to hear her talk. She is also very patient and shops at the Mexican bakery. I might love her.
     On Saturday...I guess that's today, I took the kids to the bowling alley. I do not know why my children bowl. I  find the bowling alley only slightly less germ infested than the roller skating rink. Nerds bowl. Are we really that family?  I signed everyone up for bowling except our fearless nerd leader who is a band geek and has his calender filled for the next two months. The baby is even bowling. (Do cheerleaders bowl?)
   So, Labert answered the phone today with a resounding:" Wait, can I call you back? I'm talking to Wil Wheaton."  AS IF!  My only reply was, "No, I would like to hear the sound of his voice."  The next word I heard was "Hey!" .......Maybe I can make this nerd fest of a marriage work after all.