Life is Hard, Coke is Good

  Any child psychologist will tell you that kids need authority, they crave boundaries and fall in love with adults who who keep them safe rather than keep them happy. They respond to traditions and rules.Christmas brings out the kid in all of us and let's face it, we need boundaries too  at this time of year. Christmas is depressing for lots of people because as we get older the holiday gets harder. Not only are we trying to meet the expectations of those kids in our lives, but we are fighting that kid in us that knows another lousy Christmas without that model airplane or Barbie doll is facing us. We never get past those Christmas heartbreaks. Maybe that's why, as parents, we try to break the bank in order to make sure our kids are never disappointed? It's a question, not a statement.
    What can we do as adults, adults who face another year without our best friend, our father, or our spouse? Do we let Christmas get harder and rebel against the beauty of the holiday or do we give ourselves boundaries and traditions? Are we zombie- walking our way through the season or are we really embracing it? Facing a Christmas without a loved one is hard. Cut yourself some slack and do something comepletely inside the norm.
    After Walt died the question the kids had were about the traditions Walt had: were we as a family going to continue those traditions? It hurt a little that the kids had such little faith, after all most of Walt's traditions were in effect when I was a child so of course I didn't know any other way to get through life. We had a tradition on the Fourth of July. Then came a tradition at Thansgiving which gave us a taste of what Christmas would be like. Traditions give us not just something to look forward to, but something "normal" to look forward to. Something that puts the rest of your year into perspective and provides definite boundaries and defines who you are as a person and a family.
   The greatest gift that you can give yourself is the gift of tradition. In our family on Christmas Eve we eat together, light the Christmas tree, drive around and look at lights, light a fire, and have a Coke. Does it make up for the heartbreak or the losses that we have endured during the year? No. But it gives us a respite from all the noise and all the crazy. It makes us feel safe... and like children, it is  safety that all we look forward to when the world seems out of control.
   Christmas, for my kids, will always be a glass bottle of Coke, so if you drive past the cemetary this week don't be suprised if there is a bottle on a grave...some habits are hard to break. Thank G-d some habits are hard to break.

Trying to Keep up With You

    I only learn because I am willing to listen. I only listen because I have concluded that I need to learn. Today I have reasoned that I walk among great intellectuals who are  willing to shatter my illusions and give me truth, not happiness, not complacence but real truth. Fairy tales are lovely, opinions are many, but truth found rolled in evidence is the clear winner in my life.  Truth may not ever bring us joy but it will always bring us right round to peace.
    Here's  to anyone who has ever tossed vanity aside and said, give me peace. Here's to those who proclaim that living a lie isn't propelling them.  Here's to those who take their pain in large doses today so that tomorrow they can say, "I now know the truth and can move forward." 
    I wish you peace.