So, here's a little info to get you through your Thanksgiving and Black Friday shopping.
1. The lady working on aisle 9 left her home at 7:00 p.m. to clock in at 7:30. She will work all Thanksgiving night and get home at 5:00a.m. Be nice to her or else.
2. If "Be the change you want to see in the world" is your mantra: You shouldn't be shopping. But if you are you better be the one in that 20 minute checkout line singing Holly Jolly Christmas. Or else.
3. Do not give the checkout lady a hard time about 50 cents or 2 dollars. Not if you're saving 30 bucks. There are scanners alllll over the store. Price check yourself before you get in line or be prepared to accept that measly 2 dollar difference. There are 15 people behind you. Get over it.
4. I don't really care if you're out shopping because this is THE MOST WONDERFUL SPECTACULAR AMAZING SEASON EVER!!!!! or if you're shopping for baby Jesus. If you don't hold the door for grandma or offer to help the lady with a screaming child get out to her car you are a jackass.
5. You're going to have to eat. Don't tell me you just saved 120 dollars on "stuff" then not tip your waitress. She doesn't even get Christmas off. Tip the waitress really reallly well. Or else.
6. So, you went and got yourself a babysitter? Wow. Guess what, mom? The lady on aisle 3 doesn't have that luxury, but really wanted to experience this American tradition. When you hear her baby wailing please remember that your baby is at home wailing at Grandma because he wants more candy, he wants TV time, he wants to stay up late, he wants his mommy. Cut people some slack. If baby Jesus cried you would tell Mary, 'Hey, It means you have a baby. A real life beautiful, warm, healthy baby. Crying is natural." Do not forget to be gentle with people.
7. 3 hours ago you were holding hands and praying with Aunt Betsy about everything under the sun that you were thankful for. And now, now you have your hand stuck to a 300 dollar computer that you could have bought in March for 289 and you are daring anybody to touch it. Remember to be thankful that you live in a country where money and stuff is so readily available.
8. If you go out and use a charge card you didn't save a penny. If you can't do the math on interest rates and monthly payments, you get what you get in life. You get debt for Christmas. Congratulations!!
9. If you see someone struggling with money, do the right thing. The words, "You need this more than I do." are more important now than ever before.
10. If you find yourself cursing......go home. It will all be there Dec. 22nd. and probably cheaper.
11. have fun. be safe. don't yell at people. don't forget to call home to let the people that love you know you are alright.
Whatever you are doing, do it for the right reasons. And sing. You better sing. (or else)
Monday, November 19, 2012
Tuesday, November 6, 2012
Who are You in Her Time of Need?
The phone rang last night. Lilli was already in bed and me and the boys were watching X Files. My aunt was on the other end. She wanted to know if I could come down for a few minutes and look at some clothes that my kids might be able to use. I walked down the hill and entered her living room to find bags of clothes everywhere. Clothes were being was sorted into very very small piles, and one very large one. The large pile was clothes that they couldn't use.
A friend's trailer burned. They lost everything. They lost their dog. There is no way to describe the soul stripping pain of such an event, but then, there is a way to add insult to injury.
Growing up with the dad that I had was enlightening. Maybe he didn't finish college but he was pretty smart. I remember this time of year with Walt because he would always make special trips to the grocery store to buy food for the church's food pantry. He mostly went because he felt he needed to make up for all the crap other people left in the pantry. He once found a jar of caviar. Another time he found some super tiny really expensive jars of jam. People literally were "dumping" their Thanksgiving food or Christmas presents that they didn't want into the pantry. This made Walt livid to say the least. I was taken through the grocery store and shown what was appropriate to buy. "You don't buy dented cans. You don't buy food that has been opened and then taped back closed. You give ONLY, do you hear me, ONLY what you yourself would eat." He taught me about powdered milk and how we always are to buy coffee for the pantry because elderly people may not eat breakfast but they will at least have coffee.
I learned from Walt that just because we won't or can't wear it anymore doesn't mean somebody else wants to. There is a difference between things we give to Good Will and things that should hit the trash can. This time of year especially when we are supposed to care for the orphans and the elderly why are we giving them things that aren't good enough for us? Why are we treating them like animals and saying, "Well this is better than nothing" In some cases, no, we should have really stuck with nothing. I opened my own door one day and found a few bags of nondescript food. The boxes weren't labeled. Bags of rice were full but opened and stapled back together. It would have been of more use just to give me the five dollars that was spent on that stuff. I was really hurt that someone thought so little of me and my kids...all the while patting themselves on the back for being a do-gooder. I wouldn't dare feed my kids food that was opened. You're kidding right? And cans without labels...?? please tell me what that's about.
As I sat in my aunt's living room my heart was breaking. Sure, people were giving bags of clothes to a family in need , but there were boots on the floor that only a 2 year old could wear. No one asked or cared about sizes. No one asked or cared what gender the kids were. I appreciated whole heartily what was given to me knowing that they were going to make another trip to ECCCM tomorrow to give up what they couldn't use, but really people: The poor and needy are not your dumping ground. If you're giving them shoes with holes or shoes without mates you aren't getting any G-d points.
G-d wants us to build our houses on rocks? Okay. Then help me find mine. Help the poor, the homeless, the needy identify their rocks. For some it is a ruby. For others, an emerald. Some like marble and others want limestone. The problem is the do-gooders who believe that some of us only deserve asphalt. Every time you give less than what you yourself would eat or wear you are making it abundantly clear that you don't have any respect for me or see the value in me that you see in yourself.
Each time you help someone find their own rock to build on , treating them as if they are gifts from G-d, then you are building up another human being to go out into the world and heal, help, and build. You are not just teaching them to see themselves as worthy, but you are helping them discover beauty in others. We all deserve rocks. It's just abundantly clear how many people have sand handy.
A friend's trailer burned. They lost everything. They lost their dog. There is no way to describe the soul stripping pain of such an event, but then, there is a way to add insult to injury.
Growing up with the dad that I had was enlightening. Maybe he didn't finish college but he was pretty smart. I remember this time of year with Walt because he would always make special trips to the grocery store to buy food for the church's food pantry. He mostly went because he felt he needed to make up for all the crap other people left in the pantry. He once found a jar of caviar. Another time he found some super tiny really expensive jars of jam. People literally were "dumping" their Thanksgiving food or Christmas presents that they didn't want into the pantry. This made Walt livid to say the least. I was taken through the grocery store and shown what was appropriate to buy. "You don't buy dented cans. You don't buy food that has been opened and then taped back closed. You give ONLY, do you hear me, ONLY what you yourself would eat." He taught me about powdered milk and how we always are to buy coffee for the pantry because elderly people may not eat breakfast but they will at least have coffee.
I learned from Walt that just because we won't or can't wear it anymore doesn't mean somebody else wants to. There is a difference between things we give to Good Will and things that should hit the trash can. This time of year especially when we are supposed to care for the orphans and the elderly why are we giving them things that aren't good enough for us? Why are we treating them like animals and saying, "Well this is better than nothing" In some cases, no, we should have really stuck with nothing. I opened my own door one day and found a few bags of nondescript food. The boxes weren't labeled. Bags of rice were full but opened and stapled back together. It would have been of more use just to give me the five dollars that was spent on that stuff. I was really hurt that someone thought so little of me and my kids...all the while patting themselves on the back for being a do-gooder. I wouldn't dare feed my kids food that was opened. You're kidding right? And cans without labels...?? please tell me what that's about.
As I sat in my aunt's living room my heart was breaking. Sure, people were giving bags of clothes to a family in need , but there were boots on the floor that only a 2 year old could wear. No one asked or cared about sizes. No one asked or cared what gender the kids were. I appreciated whole heartily what was given to me knowing that they were going to make another trip to ECCCM tomorrow to give up what they couldn't use, but really people: The poor and needy are not your dumping ground. If you're giving them shoes with holes or shoes without mates you aren't getting any G-d points.
G-d wants us to build our houses on rocks? Okay. Then help me find mine. Help the poor, the homeless, the needy identify their rocks. For some it is a ruby. For others, an emerald. Some like marble and others want limestone. The problem is the do-gooders who believe that some of us only deserve asphalt. Every time you give less than what you yourself would eat or wear you are making it abundantly clear that you don't have any respect for me or see the value in me that you see in yourself.
Each time you help someone find their own rock to build on , treating them as if they are gifts from G-d, then you are building up another human being to go out into the world and heal, help, and build. You are not just teaching them to see themselves as worthy, but you are helping them discover beauty in others. We all deserve rocks. It's just abundantly clear how many people have sand handy.
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