40 is harsh. When you're 40 sometimes your back hurts. Sometimes your back hurts because you fall down stairs. You fell down those stairs wearing shoes made for 17 year olds. Sometimes you are a parent of a 17 year old. 40 is harsh because it's hard to lose that "baby weight" that you gained from that 17 year old. And then somebody is like, "Oh are you pregnant?" No, angry bitter white girl, I am not...but I can tell you're pushing 40 because you have angry and bitter written on your forehead. Oh, and your shoes are out of your league. 40 is harsh because we as women understand our bodies now...finally...only to be told that we will lose them sometime in the next 10 years to something called men-a-pause. This will be a turning point in our lives. This is when we finally know we don't want to get remarried. 40 is harsh because we're not 20 and we're not dead. How awkward. 40 is harsh because we now realize that size "medium" is a nice way of saying "Please try again". 40 is harsh because our hair begins to turn an odd color of blond, and people, like those 17 years olds, get really rude about it. I am stunning in my new hair color. So stunning that I bought a new pair of silver heels to match it.
So my advice to myself in the few short years I have left before I turn that magical number is: From here on add 7 years to your age...they will be in awe. (and quit buying mediums).
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
I read a book once
There is a whole conversation here that I have been longing to have. There's so much on my mind. Isn't it strange that the middle/lower classes are now the ones on the verge of revolt? We usually are quite content to have some minority that is being bullied and scapegoated, and we "get by". We are blessed...we always have been. Didn't matter if it was England or Australia or America, to be (especially white and ) working was a true "blessing" (hate that word). But this revolution isn't even about money or power...it's about knowledge. The middle/lower class is now More educated than anyone in power. And we aren't just fighting for "us". This isn't about color or station anymore. This fight is being picked up by pastors, lawyers, teachers, stay at home moms, artists, athletes. We fight for all who need books, education, identity. It is such an odd place to be, this cliff edge that we stand on...and the only solution is to keep feeding our youth the truth of the struggle. Not the truth of money or politics, but the human struggle. This is such an odd time in history I wonder what it will be called. We've had a great awakening, a renaissance, a dark age...but this is bleak. What we are surrounded with is so bleak. We are on the edge of the greatest knowledge and fighting such an ignorant opponent. And we never know who the enemy is. He could be any color, any religion.....Some days I just get so angry at the ignorance. And there is so much more my brain wants to know. What is it in the Matrix..the blue pill? Have I taken too many?
I long for someone to wrestle this with me and help me understand...what has happened and where did we go wrong. I think it's all those years of feeling safe that did us in. Without education we are nowhere. Absolutely nowhere. What separates us from those that don't read, don't research...? What is the defining innate thing that makes us WANT to know? And why can we not teach others that deep nagging want is what salvages our soul at the end of the day? Knowledge has to be wanted, to be craved. People who quote "facts" but never research the truth should never ever be trusted...so why do they run the country? Why do they run the world? Where are the Plaits, the Tysons, the Sagans? Why do we not look to the sages to get the answers?
It doesn't matter how many books you have in your home. Unless you've opened one you are no smarter than anyone else ~Mama Shey.
I long for someone to wrestle this with me and help me understand...what has happened and where did we go wrong. I think it's all those years of feeling safe that did us in. Without education we are nowhere. Absolutely nowhere. What separates us from those that don't read, don't research...? What is the defining innate thing that makes us WANT to know? And why can we not teach others that deep nagging want is what salvages our soul at the end of the day? Knowledge has to be wanted, to be craved. People who quote "facts" but never research the truth should never ever be trusted...so why do they run the country? Why do they run the world? Where are the Plaits, the Tysons, the Sagans? Why do we not look to the sages to get the answers?
It doesn't matter how many books you have in your home. Unless you've opened one you are no smarter than anyone else ~Mama Shey.
Monday, August 8, 2011
week 7. trust me.
This week my 2 nephews came to visit. They arrived on Sunday. My actual children had arrived home the day before so I got to spend a night with everybody in the house after a long week of silence. Beeker had asked months ago if I could keep the boys while did training and had a temporary duty assignment...little did I now that she was actually participating in something that eerily resembled the Army Olympics. I ask you, is there anything she can't do?
The boys woke up on Monday to a typical summer day with Aunt Sherry. I swear, no matter how often I hear that phrase I am completely taken aback. I grew up an only child and never calculated being anybodies Aunt into my life equation. I know I laughed out loud numerous times when they called my name. It is such a pleasure and gift to be an Aunt.
The boys got to watch all the good Aunt Sherry educational videos. They were good sports. The question "Why does Aunt Sherry want to marry Neil Degrasse Tyson" was never completely answered to their satisfaction however. We watched Nova Science How Smart are Animals and Nova's Pluto Files. Fabulous is all I can say. Creamy good chewy fabulous. They also watched a show I could never get behind: Mythbusters, but it was about ninjas, so, it had to be cool.
On Monday we all went to see the Smurf movie. Even Tika Rae. We were sitting in the theatre and she says, "It is very dark in here." I was shocked at my ignorance:baby had never been to a movie before. I had not briefed her on what was to come. I explained that that big screen was a TV screen and that the movie would be up there (she thought we were just there to eat popcorn..?) Her reply was "Whoa!" For the next hour I was poked in the side by the softest, tiniest elbow as she yelled,"This is the best movie ever!" And it was.
Later that night we went to the Greenway, soon to be called My Favorite Spot, and had a picnic and took a walk. On Tuesday I had to attend a funeral. I hereby declare a moratorium on death. Period. I am really tired of burying friends, and please don't tell me it comes with age. We aren't even 40.
We met Miss Jennifer and her charges at the bowling alley and we all got to bowl a game. I was horrible, and Tika slept through it all. Soon after the question "Does Aunt Sherry walk everywhere?" replaced the Degrasse Tyson question. And the answer was yes.
We got to take part in National Night Out that Conover hosts each year. Miss Kelly came and picked up half of us and we spent a lovely evening wandering around looking at vendors and trying to figure out how much free stuff we can shove in a bag.
Michael was at Band Camp all week, so we really only got to see him at dinner time each evening. He is learning how to march and be part of the High School Band.
Friday we experienced flash floods around NC and we had some terrible thunder. We cancelled our plans for Friday and decided to just have a party. We ate ice cream and popcorn and watched the brand new-oh my gosh-such a big deal Phineas and Ferb movie!. It was so nice.
I spent Saturday doing laundry and packing the boys. We met for a family reunion at Olive Garden in Gastonia and dropped off the boys with Beeker. I am always sad to see her leave. The sadness is dispersed though with the thought that she trusts me enough to let me have her children. I am amazed at how much a part of this family I am. I am so lucky.
The boys woke up on Monday to a typical summer day with Aunt Sherry. I swear, no matter how often I hear that phrase I am completely taken aback. I grew up an only child and never calculated being anybodies Aunt into my life equation. I know I laughed out loud numerous times when they called my name. It is such a pleasure and gift to be an Aunt.
The boys got to watch all the good Aunt Sherry educational videos. They were good sports. The question "Why does Aunt Sherry want to marry Neil Degrasse Tyson" was never completely answered to their satisfaction however. We watched Nova Science How Smart are Animals and Nova's Pluto Files. Fabulous is all I can say. Creamy good chewy fabulous. They also watched a show I could never get behind: Mythbusters, but it was about ninjas, so, it had to be cool.
On Monday we all went to see the Smurf movie. Even Tika Rae. We were sitting in the theatre and she says, "It is very dark in here." I was shocked at my ignorance:baby had never been to a movie before. I had not briefed her on what was to come. I explained that that big screen was a TV screen and that the movie would be up there (she thought we were just there to eat popcorn..?) Her reply was "Whoa!" For the next hour I was poked in the side by the softest, tiniest elbow as she yelled,"This is the best movie ever!" And it was.
Later that night we went to the Greenway, soon to be called My Favorite Spot, and had a picnic and took a walk. On Tuesday I had to attend a funeral. I hereby declare a moratorium on death. Period. I am really tired of burying friends, and please don't tell me it comes with age. We aren't even 40.
We met Miss Jennifer and her charges at the bowling alley and we all got to bowl a game. I was horrible, and Tika slept through it all. Soon after the question "Does Aunt Sherry walk everywhere?" replaced the Degrasse Tyson question. And the answer was yes.
We got to take part in National Night Out that Conover hosts each year. Miss Kelly came and picked up half of us and we spent a lovely evening wandering around looking at vendors and trying to figure out how much free stuff we can shove in a bag.
Michael was at Band Camp all week, so we really only got to see him at dinner time each evening. He is learning how to march and be part of the High School Band.
Friday we experienced flash floods around NC and we had some terrible thunder. We cancelled our plans for Friday and decided to just have a party. We ate ice cream and popcorn and watched the brand new-oh my gosh-such a big deal Phineas and Ferb movie!. It was so nice.
I spent Saturday doing laundry and packing the boys. We met for a family reunion at Olive Garden in Gastonia and dropped off the boys with Beeker. I am always sad to see her leave. The sadness is dispersed though with the thought that she trusts me enough to let me have her children. I am amazed at how much a part of this family I am. I am so lucky.
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