People are usually surprised that I don't have my ears pierced. I did once, for 24 hours. It was the worst experience I could have imagined. There was something foreign in me, on me, that absolutely did not belong there. I have been clear with the kids. If you want your ears pierced you must be at least 12 years old. You have to pay for it with birthday or Christmas or Chanukah money. You have to be responsible. I will not be taking you to the doctor for infections because you are lazy. Don't get infections. I won't be buying your jewelry either. It's you. It's all you.
The kids have asked me about tattoos. My answer has always been: It's not for me. If it's for you then you have to be at least 18 and then we're back to the same rules. The real reason that I don't have piercings or tattoos comes down to a very simple principle for me. It's about honesty. When I look at history what I see are ancient cultures who marked themselves. This is what a tattoo is: a tribal marking. Historically tattoos represent your belonging to a certain village. Each tattoo symbolizes a journey on your road to becoming a man (or woman). Each tattoo and it's color and placement tell a very specific story about how old you are, what your role in society is, what family you belong to. Perhaps the Jews were told not to get tattoos because each family actually had a crest; a color. They were not expected to mark themselves because this was seen as something that you do to slaves. Branding. Jewish families have other ways of recognizing themselves. Also, we usually just talk a lot and TELL you what you don't want to know and then some. The Jews also have a way of documenting their lives on paper, not skin.
So, why do I not at this juncture have piercings or tattoos? Well, I really have never felt that I had a tribe. I don't feel like I work in conjunction with any village or group. I don't have that familial need to be forever branded to a group. I also don't have any deep bonds to any certain metal or gemstone. I believe earrings to be something that also identify your personality and should be worn to show who you are what you believe, and let's face it; what class you belong to. Jewelry is a magical thing. Earrings especially signify something that cannot or should not be removed.
Am I taking this too far? Sure. On a few levels, but we come from a society that yells at a kid if he wears his shirt 3 days in a row. Give me a break! I am someone who has lost a marriage, all my personal belongings, my father, and a few friends. I completely understand why a kid NEEDS to wear the same shirt for a week. Safety and identity. In my case I always find a way to keep going though. My safety nets change and my identity, thank G-d, has changed a few times. I want to keep changing, but when I need to feel solidarity to a group of people, then I turn on some music or wear their tee shirt. I am a person who needs change.
Let me add this story. I was in the book store one day when I met some parents from the middle school. We got along fine. A month later I ran into the father again. he took me aside and said, "May I ask you a question? It's personal." He wanted to know if my Star of David necklace was a Jewish symbol or a pagan star. He meant no offense, and neither answer would have swayed his like
or dislike of me, he just wanted to know who I was.
Kids, it's not the tee shirt that screams, "I Love Boobs" that make people judge you as much as those little things. Those extremely personal things like jewelry or tattoos. And the truth is America is a huge place. A symbol of a star to one group of people in NYC does not translate the same here in the South. You have to be very careful with symbols. You have to be sure of yourself. I will never be sure of myself and I will never want some memories etched into my skin. That is my own shortcoming, my own faults and insecurities. You aren't me. Do what you like, harm none, and be sure of yourself. Just make sure you are mature enough to handle the questions and the controversies. Peace.
No comments:
Post a Comment